Dave Michaels

Dave Michaels

Dave Michaels enjoys ice cream, whiskey, knitting, and being indoors-y...Full Bio

 

5 reasons as to why candy corn is overrated (and utterly gross)!

Now that October is here, this will be the one and only time I remind you how OVERATED Candy Corn is. Why? See below:

1. It's Pure Sugar

The two most abundant ingredients in candy corn? Corn syrup and sugar. How about you go to your kitchen and mix those two together, add a little bit of honey, and tell me if that tastes good. News flash: it doesn't.

2. Vampire-Candy Corn Teeth

Stop using sugary blocks of "candy" as your go-to vampire look and go to the dollar store and buy yourself a pair of plastic vampire teeth. They even have glow in the dark and neon colors. You will be fine.

3. Candy Corn Flavored Everything

Oreos, popcorn, cereal, ice-cream, liquor, Hershey's chocolate, Hershey's kisses, cup cakes, Jones soda, pretzels, macarons, Peeps... it's almost as bad as the pumpkin spice craze!

4. It Doesn't Even Taste Like Corn!

What the heck? I'm from Wisconsin. Corn-country, corn fields galore, corn everywhere, "knee-high by the Fourth of July". It's borderline offensive that this crap is referred to as corn. It's nowhere near corn, and just because it looks like corn, does not mean that it should be named after corn. Pets look like giant balls of fur, but we don't name them that. C'mon people.

5. See #1 thru #4

Photo: Getty Image


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